Coming Out
Comin’ Out at Skool
I am in my last year of 6th Form at a multi-ethnic skool. I have known that I woz bisexual since year 9 but have kept it quiet. People within my school have suspected that I was a ‘dyke’ but I always laughed it off. This particularly happened in years 11 + 12 when everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I decided to join GYGL through Millennium Volunteers and it was at this time that I finally found me and accepted myself! Within the 6th form I constantly heard remarks about my sexuality but ignored it and denied it.
After telling my best friend I had the courage to tell everyone (apart from family). I had a mass coming out. I just walked into the 16+ block and just shouted it out. “Listen everyone, yes I am a dyke and I’m proud of it!” Some laughed, some clapped. I woz amazed at the support that I have had from both pupils + teachers, everything that I woz worried about hasn’t even happened. I am no longer made fun of and people love the fact that I am so open about my sexuality. I now walk around proudly with a rainbow badge on my bag and have never been more happy nor comfortable with myself. I have also helped two other pupils to come out which I am very happy with. I am no longer seen as an “in-denial dyke’’, but ‘Lisa’.
I will never forget the time when I decided to tell my parents I was gay: it was May 1998 and a Tuesday night.
Something happened to me when I was 13 at school. All of my friends had girlfriends and kept on at me to find one myself, but I never looked at girls like that. I always had a crush on my sports teacher who was just divine. He was just perfect. I knew from that moment on that I was gay, and I must admit I was petrified and thought that I wasn’t normal.
So over the years I kept it from my family because mainly I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Back then I was thinking of their happiness and not my own, but then one day I knew that would have to change.
On a normal day at work my mum came into see me. She told me my brother was moving out to live with his girlfriend. I knew then that I was free to tell my family about me. It sounds funny I know, but that was the first time I felt free in a long time. I always looked up to my brother, but in some ways I was scared of him and frightened at how he would react.
The first person I told was my supervisor who was a good friend as well. She was brilliant and told me not to be ashamed of what you are and to live life to the full. She also said that she thought it would be for the best to tell my family as soon as possible.
That night I went out with my brother to play some snooker and I knew then that I couldn’t tell him first. It would have to be my mum and dad.
Tuesday night came and I was shaking all over, but I made sure that I could stay with friends if it all went wrong. 11.00pm came and I was thinking that they were late. By 11.20pm mum and dad came in- the first thing I did was to get a glass of water. My mouth was dry and I could hardly speak.
I told them to take a seat in the kitchen because I had to tell them something important about me. My mum, at first, wouldn’t sit down but I said it would be for the best if she did.
The first thing that I said was that I wanted their support and understanding for what I was about to tell them. They agreed that I would always have their support in any part of my life. I looked at them and said that over the past ten years or so I knew I was gay and that I found it very difficult to live my life a lie just to please my family and the people around me. My dad put his arm around me and said that he understood and that he will always be there for me and would never let anyone get me down again. But he also said that mum and me should talk alone, so he went into the front room to watch TV. At first I thought this was a bit strange because he always sat by mum, but then mum said she would prefer us to talk alone.
She was very upset and concerned and thought that maybe I was bisexual and just didn’t have any luck with girls. I said No, I was gay and from now on would live my life as a gay man. My mum said she understood, but what was I going to tell my brothers and sister?
I said I would tell them all within the week. Then my mum started crying. I gave her a hug and said that everything would be fine from now on and not to worry. She smiled and went to bed.
By the end of the week my brothers and sister knew. My sister and brother were great support. My elder brother in all honesty was a complete bastard. I remember thinking that two out of three ain’t bad.
It all has been worth it. I am much happier and have the support of my family and friends around me. There have been difficulties along the way but tell me someone who doesn’t go through difficulties sometime in their lives…
My motto for life is be free, be happy, be who you are. And most of all don’t be afraid to tell someone. You’ll be surprised at how many things have changed over the years. It’s always hard but things do look brighter around you once you are out and proud.
Comin’ Out at Skool
I am in my last year of 6th Form at a multi-ethnic skool. I have known that I woz bisexual since year 9 but have kept it quiet. People within my school have suspected that I was a ‘dyke’ but I always laughed it off. This particularly happened in years 11 + 12 when everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I decided to join GYGL through Millennium Volunteers and it was at this time that I finally found me and accepted myself! Within the 6th form I constantly heard remarks about my sexuality but ignored it and denied it.
After telling my best friend I had the courage to tell everyone (apart from family). I had a mass coming out. I just walked into the 16+ block and just shouted it out. “Listen everyone, yes I am a dyke and I’m proud of it!” Some laughed, some clapped. I woz amazed at the support that I have had from both pupils + teachers, everything that I woz worried about hasn’t even happened. I am no longer made fun of and people love the fact that I am so open about my sexuality. I now walk around proudly with a rainbow badge on my bag and have never been more happy nor comfortable with myself. I have also helped two other pupils to come out which I am very happy with. I am no longer seen as an “in-denial dyke’’, but ‘Lisa’.
I will never forget the time when I decided to tell my parents I was gay: it was May 1998 and a Tuesday night.
Something happened to me when I was 13 at school. All of my friends had girlfriends and kept on at me to find one myself, but I never looked at girls like that. I always had a crush on my sports teacher who was just divine. He was just perfect. I knew from that moment on that I was gay, and I must admit I was petrified and thought that I wasn’t normal.
So over the years I kept it from my family because mainly I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Back then I was thinking of their happiness and not my own, but then one day I knew that would have to change.
On a normal day at work my mum came into see me. She told me my brother was moving out to live with his girlfriend. I knew then that I was free to tell my family about me. It sounds funny I know, but that was the first time I felt free in a long time. I always looked up to my brother, but in some ways I was scared of him and frightened at how he would react.
The first person I told was my supervisor who was a good friend as well. She was brilliant and told me not to be ashamed of what you are and to live life to the full. She also said that she thought it would be for the best to tell my family as soon as possible.
That night I went out with my brother to play some snooker and I knew then that I couldn’t tell him first. It would have to be my mum and dad.
Tuesday night came and I was shaking all over, but I made sure that I could stay with friends if it all went wrong. 11.00pm came and I was thinking that they were late. By 11.20pm mum and dad came in- the first thing I did was to get a glass of water. My mouth was dry and I could hardly speak.
I told them to take a seat in the kitchen because I had to tell them something important about me. My mum, at first, wouldn’t sit down but I said it would be for the best if she did.
The first thing that I said was that I wanted their support and understanding for what I was about to tell them. They agreed that I would always have their support in any part of my life. I looked at them and said that over the past ten years or so I knew I was gay and that I found it very difficult to live my life a lie just to please my family and the people around me. My dad put his arm around me and said that he understood and that he will always be there for me and would never let anyone get me down again. But he also said that mum and me should talk alone, so he went into the front room to watch TV. At first I thought this was a bit strange because he always sat by mum, but then mum said she would prefer us to talk alone.
She was very upset and concerned and thought that maybe I was bisexual and just didn’t have any luck with girls. I said No, I was gay and from now on would live my life as a gay man. My mum said she understood, but what was I going to tell my brothers and sister?
I said I would tell them all within the week. Then my mum started crying. I gave her a hug and said that everything would be fine from now on and not to worry. She smiled and went to bed.
By the end of the week my brothers and sister knew. My sister and brother were great support. My elder brother in all honesty was a complete bastard. I remember thinking that two out of three ain’t bad.
It all has been worth it. I am much happier and have the support of my family and friends around me. There have been difficulties along the way but tell me someone who doesn’t go through difficulties sometime in their lives…
My motto for life is be free, be happy, be who you are. And most of all don’t be afraid to tell someone. You’ll be surprised at how many things have changed over the years. It’s always hard but things do look brighter around you once you are out and proud.